Clear Ultra Shea- The saga in a vlog.

Because sometimes you need more than writing to tell a story.
(Read part one here.)

Now (a little too late...)  I learned that the Ultra Shea line is made for African American hair.
I'm not exactly their target market.

Somehow Clear failed to convey that in the packaging.  Or I'm just clueless.  Or both.

It might be a great product.  Just not great for me.
The biggest bummer is they never called me back, or gave me any good solutions via email.

Not cool Clear Scalp & Hair Therapy.  Not cool.

Thank you baby Jesus for Diet Pepsi.

Salsa- no chips required.

I'm a tortilla chip snob.  My favorite place to buy them is closed on Sunday.  Many a sad Sunday has been spent chipless.  Hobby Lobby, Chick-fil-a, and the chip store, all break my heart on Sunday.

More than anything I am a salsa snob.
Not in the whole Pace Picante MADE IN NEW YORK CITY kind of way either.

When Drew made this salsa I fell in love.  It became known to us as Pilgrim salsa, just so we could find a way to deem it appropriate to make for Thanksgiving.  For sure it was in the larder on the Mayflower.  FOR SURE.  It is that good.

However, Pilgrim salsa is sort of labor intensive.

Then she got me hooked on Trader Joe's Salsa Especial.  It's unreal how good it tastes.  I can and eat a whole container with no chips- just a spoon, in one sitting.

My newest love, Salsa Especial, ain't cheap.

What is a girl who needs salsa, almost as much as she needs oxygen, to do?

Find an easy recipe, and then tweak it obvs.  In my beloved Ninja.  That thing is working overtime lately.  Smoothies by day.  Salsa and Awesomesauce by night.  (Please ignore the cupcakes.  They are evil to this whole fasting from sugar nonsense.)

Just to be nice, I made two different versions,because not everyone likes to eat fire from the face of the sun.

Gringa Version

(Less spicy)

1 can Original or Mild Rotel

1 can diced tomatoes

1 onion, chopped

3 cloves of garlic, peeled and smashed

1 jalapeño, diced with seeds removed

Large handful of cilantro

1 teaspoon honey

1/2 teaspoon salt

1/4 teaspoon cumin

2 tablespoons lime juice

Throw everything into a blender or food processor.

Blend and EAT!

Makes 3 cups

 Señorita Version

(Way more awesome and SPICY)

1 can HOT Rotel

1 can fire roasted diced tomatoes

1 onion chopped

3 cloves of garlic peeled and smashed

1 1/2  jalapeños, diced (Do not remove the seeds.  They contain the awesome.)

Large handful of cilantro

1 teaspoon honey

1/2 teaspoon salt

1/4 teaspoon cumin

2 tablespoons lime juice

Throw everything into a blender or food processor.

Blend and EAT!

Makes 3 cups

Kim gets it.  Who needs the dumb chips?
Just throw a straw in that action.
Or pour it in a bowl, gazpacho style.
Mmmmmmmmm.
MyFitnessPal approved.

Insta-Friday weeks ???

Playing catchup.

Buying more sunscreen.

So sad that I'm not in Bass Lake right now.

Loving the lazy days.

 The only thing that makes me less sad that as each day passes, summer is getting shorter?

Come August I will get to use my Much Ado About You Planner.

 Best hat in the history of hats.

(Target boy's section.)

 These two.  

My fave.

Every day is a good day for Pedros.

I think I need this picnic table in my life.

 Best beach hair in the history of hair.

(But most days it may or may not resemble a clown wig...)

 Love each of them.

In their wildly different ways.

Mess with his food and he will CUT YOU.

One day in high school a few friends started a band.

Still friends.  Still in a band.  

With a lot of small fans.

 Eggs for dayzzz around here.  We need chickens.  

Without the having to take care of chickens part.

 Dark chocolate Pillsbury cake mix plus this peanut butter buttercream.

You're welcome.

Homegoods.  You kill me.

If only we could do this all day.  Every day.

Standard.

I love Heather and Alissa almost as much as he loves food.

 Dude.  So loving this new sleeping roll he is on.

 Kara-Noel should totally give me this sign, right?

Hello, we had In-N-Out at our WEDDING!!!

Follow the rainbow brick road.

So good.

Forlorn.

 Obsessed with the water.

Obsessed.

 His and her magazine date at B&N, all part of our zero dollar summer entertainment plan. 

 Another little kindergartner graduates.  Now she can become a productive member of society.

I'm only two miles away from 40.

Like whoa.

 Dramaaaaaaaa.

 New adventures.

 New dramaaaaaaa.

 Bottomless pit.

 The littlest 40 milers.

Rolling in a GoPod, borrowed from a friend, and both ridiculous/ frivolous/ and awesome.  

He took a full ten minutes off from the eating handfuls of sand.

What is your summer like so far?

Pineapple and toasted coconut cupcakes

My husband's favorite, and they make me dream of Hawaii.

Sigh....

If I can't fly to Kauai every year, I can at least make my house smell like the islands, and my husband happy.

 Pineapple cake mix, some doctored up buttercream, plus sweeteened coconut with a tan.  That's it.

The pineapple cake mix can be hard to find.  It is hit or miss for me.  Depends on the season, depends on the grocery store.  I always stock up when I do find it.  If it isn't in your hood, Amazon has it here.

Bake cupcakes according to box directions.
I always make 18 instead of the recommended 24.  I like my cupcakes big and rounded.
I also bake them at 325º for a few more minutes.  It seems to help them from flattening out.

As for the buttercream, I tweaked this recipe.

Coconut Buttercream

1/2 cup butter room temp

1 lb. powdered sugar

1 1/2 teaspoons coconut extract

3 tablespoons coconut milk (I love coconut almond milk)

Whip together until smooth

Free tip: 

Piping with a frosting tip is way faster and looks way fancier.

I am currently crushing on the big flower tip.

Stick a ziploc or pastry bag with the tip already attached in a tall vase to make filling it with frosting much, much, much easier.

 Sweetened coconut is delicious, but toasted coconut is CRAZY DELICIOUS, and also easy and fancy.

Aloha.

I spy my favorite print from Pen and Paint.

Oh, to be in the islands.

Someday....

Happy baking!

The newest Bumbo spokesmodel.

The Bumbo was one of the few baby gear-ish things that I bought when we had Janey.  

It turned out to be her most favorite thing.

She loved to be in the action.  

Super easy and content rolling in the cushy foam.

It went everywhere with us. 

She sat everywhere in it.

Irish bear bait while camping.

Sewing assistant.  Super stoked by the way.

Just happy to be in my presence while making cupcakes.

Hello!  It's rad to sit here and hold cake mix.

 Chilling on a pier.  NBD.

Making a quilt like a boss.

However, the nerve of me to try to put SOMEONE in it for even a second.

How dare I think that he would want to observe me cutting fabric for a ten small minutes.

Ten minutes better spent destroying everything he can get his little viper hands on.

He didn't last ten seconds before the DRAMAAAAAA started.

Meanest mom IN THE WORLD.

Why would he ever want to be contained when there are irresistible shutters to break??????

{One Bumbo for sale.  Will consider trading for fifty dozen baby gates.  Or shutter repair services.}

Magic crayon remover.

I am a believer that quilts should be used.  They should be loved.  That with each washing they get better.  

They are for taking to the beach, picnicking in the park, cuddling on the couch, taking perfect family photos where everyone smiles and looks at the camera and no three year olds are freaking out because their little brother is trying to touch them.

Know what they are not for?

Cheap restaurant crayons in the hot sun.

THEY ARE NOT FOR THAT.

Case in point.  Morning in the park.  Four kids.  Three sets of crayons.  

Melted EVERYWHERE.

The freaking out of the three year old with the brother trying to touch her has nothing on the mother who sees the carnage of the dumb (cuss) crayons all over her beloved, heirloom, irreplaceable, made with love and care, by Target on clearance, rainbow quilt.

The mother who put it in the garage for a month as to not deal with it because she felt just like this about it.

The mother who wanted to sue the maker of the dumb melt to liquid in 80º weather crayons, but instead reached out to the genius crayon removal service Google.

Dumb Google told me to put a paper bag on top of the crayon stains and iron them.

THAT DID NOT HELP.

AT ALL.

If 80º weather can melt crayons, imagine what an iron can do.

NOT GOOD THINGS.

 So she took her case to the real human problem solver, Instagram.
Lots of ideas were thrown around.  Lots involving trips to the store to buy things like WD-40 and GooGone.
But one safer, ingredient is already in the pantry, solution caught her eye.
Crystal suggested a paste of baking soda, then a cold water wash.

Baking soda commenced.
Washing machine spin concluded.

The verdict?
Gone.  All of the spots magically, brilliantly, gloriously, disappeared.
All but the ones that the stupid iron set in. Those however, faded enough for me to live with.

 It is now back in it's rightful home, awaiting guests.  Guests who don't come armed with cheap crayons.