When I saw The Pioneer Woman's ode to the precious, I knew it had to be my new best friend. My new way to finally end my current (really expensive) VIA love affair.
Plus, it would mean the two minutes that I normally spend making it each morning would be reduced to zero. Imagine what I could do with those extra two minutes a day?
Two minutes of peace.
Two minutes before I have to brush the tangles out of my wimpy scalped daughter.
Two minutes to read a paragraph in a magazine.
Life changing, I say. Life changing.
I really don't. But on my recent kid filled, solo road trip I NEEDED coffee. Like keep from crashing on the freeway needed. The girls wanted breakfast... so I decided to pull a two-fer. They get food, I get power to drive another few hours. But I have been burned before by McCafe. Burned badly. I have tried it three times. Three times it has ended up in the trash. But people like it... like really, really like it...
Why don't I??? How badly can they mess up ice, coffee and milk?
No sweeteners. No weirdness. Just three ingredients.
Three ingredients gone so very, very wrong.
McCafe got dumped in the bushes at Starbucks.
All was right with the world again.
We didn't crash on the freeway. I didn't throw up on the side of the road.
But back to the real story....
P Dub and her gallons of iced happiness.
The food storage thing that she used was easily found at my local Smart N Final.
The coffee was only $3.74 at Target.
Also found at Target, this happy aqua dispenser, perfect to tuck into my fridge.
With supplies gathered, kids in bed, I carried on in my quest.
Filled the water, dumped in the coffee, stirred, covered, and went to bed with visions of coffee dancing in my head.
I woke up extra early the next day to strain the coffee concentrate.
Extra early should have been my clue that things were about to go very, very, very wrong.
I don't do well with extra early.
It is HEAVY!
Straining it takes lots of care and patience.
I lack care and patience. Especially early. Especially pre-coffee.
I spilled it everywhere.
But I kept going.
Kept straining. Kept pouring.
My kitchen and my clothing smelled like we went swimming in a vat of strong coffee.
After the straining portion was complete, I poured it into my cute little drink dispenser.
Excitedly I transferred the dispenser to the fridge and shut the door.
Then I proceeded to clean up the coffee massacre that filled the counters, my pajamas and the sink.
As I was cleaning I heard dripping...
Sort of like the sound that the ice maker makes when it is filling up with water.
But I was too busy cleaning to pay it much attention.
Kids were about to wake up and I needed my coffee.
My husband needed to come down to a usable kitchen.
All was well. All was clean.
I poured myself a big glass from the leftovers that didn't fit in the dispenser, and walked to the fridge to get some almond milk.
Kids are stirring upstairs.
I open the fridge.
A tidal wave of coffee comes rushing out.
All over me, my feet, the floor, under the fridge.
Apparently, when I shut the door it hit the spout on the dispenser.
The dripping I heard?
The dispenser dispensing a GALLON of coffee inside my fridge, all sinister and waiting to come out.
Good times my friends, good times.
Cleanup on aisle five.
At this point what is a girl to do?
It is barely 7am, I am soaking wet, the kitchen is chaos, the kids need to be fed and get ready for school...
I don't get paid enough to deal with such things.
So I cleaned. Mopped. Scrubbed. Shamwowed.
Tried not to cry. Or cuss. Or throw the dispenser through a window.
Where was the Brawny man when I needed him?
Or Calgon to take me far, far, far away.
(But this time I used my favey Starbucks Pike Place Roast. Maybe I'm a snob after all...)
Because it was good.
But this time I was more patient, rested and careful.
It is now safely tucked in half gallon mason jars.
Spout-less mason jars.
Happily greeting me each morning.
As I take the two minutes to reflect on how dramatic I sometimes make my life.
Thank you Pioneer Woman.
No thank you cheapy Target dispenser.
Although, my scrubbed and cleaned fridge has never looked better...