This post could have so many titles.
I couldn't pick just one, so I will go through the options.

1.  I am a hypocrite.
Okay, so I blubbered on about how un-Orange County I am the other day.  Well, there is still a little OC in me.  I really need to get my fake blonde on.

Look at my roots!!!!!!!!
2.  My kid loves me.
Of course she does, right?  Well, she loves me enough to let me get my fake blonde on and not make a peep the entire time we are at the "salon" (read further to see why salon is in quotes.) She came genetically wired to know that a blonde mommy is a happier mommy.

Here is where she sat while I was slathered in bleach.
3.  What I will do to save money.
Look at the sweet wallpaper in the picture below.  Would you like for me to find out where it is from so you can get your own?  How about those amazing pictures.  I am guessing there isn't much demand for those haircuts these days. Probably not, since it has been the same since 1980!  I don't call my fake blonde wonderland a salon.  More like what a movie set would look like if the scene called for the creepiest hair styling shop possible.
So why do I go there?
Well, would I enjoy sipping a latte, reading gossip mags and relaxing?  Absolutely.  Do I like holding my own foils, being in pain at the horribly rigged shampoo bowl and going home with wet unbrushed hair?  No.
But, do I like saving $100 every 6-8 weeks by sacrificing ambiance for frugality?  You betcha.

4.  No, you can't pinch the baby.
So, the average client at this "salon" is 85 or so and is most likely getting a perm.  
Yes, a perm.
When I was there this morning there were 5 sweet ladies with rows and rows of the little rollers in their silver hair.
It brings me back to fourth grade.  Let me just tell you, perms smell bad.  
Really, really, really bad. 
I texted my friend who is also brave enough to get her fake blonde on there too.
"Does perm smell poison babies?"
She didn't text back.  Bad sign. 
So while I was waiting in a rickety chair with my head full of foils and my nose full of perm solution, one of the ladies asked me a peculiar question.
"Can I pinch the baby?"
I sort of just stared at her.  She asked again.  Louder and more serious.
"Can I pinch the baby?"
I have never been more thankful for the carseat tent.  I just smiled and replied "She's sleeping."
"CAN I PINCH THE BABY!!!!!!!!!!!"
Seriously? Really? You can see the baby.  You can coo at the baby.  Heck, you can even touch the babies feet.  Am I weird for drawing the line at pinching?
Hide your babies Orange County! There is a perm getting, baby pinching, grandma on the loose!!!!  She won't take your polite redirection for an answer either.

But we made it.  My blonde is back, my hair is wet and tangled and Janey survived the perm fumigation pinch free.


  1. You made me crack up at my desk at work!!! I can't believe she asked to pinch the baby! I was just cracking up

  2. Oh my goodness, that salon is beyond funny. And if someone asked to pinch my baby, I would zip up that little baby tent of yours and run.

  3. Oh my! So I borrowed your list of 99 things, for my 99th post. Two random similarities: my daughter also broke her arm at preschool and the teacher totally shrugged it off (nice!), and I, too, bought a new car all by myself at 19.

  4. So funny! I think that poor lady has had too many perms, she's proof that the solution is absorbed through your scalp! LOL

  5. Ugh, this so reminds me of all the people that insisted I stop so they could stare at the baby. And especially with my first how visible steam came from my ears when anyone dared touch the baby. Without even asking!

    At least she asked to pinch the baby, consider yourself lucky! LOL!

  6. Hi,
    I'm visting from Michelle's blog. Love yours. Made me laugh out loud!

  7. Can I pinch the baby??? What in the world kind of question is that?! Seriously!! I bet not many of us have been asked that one before!

    Sounds like your salon is quite the place!! Your way of story telling is just too much!

    Glad that you made it out and Janey was a gem for ya!

  8. That is hilarious! At least she asked.

  9. I least she asked :)

  10. Hahahah I am sitting here cracking up over your post :) First of all, I would definitely go the cheap route with the hair also!! I have dark brown hair and hghlight it myself now with the Target box highlights for $6!!! Works perfectly! :) I am all for saving a few bucks hehe!!! And secondly, PINCH THE BABY???!! Eeeek that would scare me haha! Keep the baby away from her! :) xoxox

  11. So many thoughts running through my mind. Would this "salon" happen to be in Laguna Woods???? :) I would've asked that lady if you could pinch her after she pinched your baby. WEIRD.

  12. Oh my, I'm laughing so hard...truly I am.

  13. that poster on the wall is hilarious!
    the car seat is the cutest thing ever.
    and i pinch babies all the time. j/k. i do want to kiss every tiny i see...but that's inappropriate. i want to kiss their tiny little lips. and their necks.
    but i don't pinch. :)

  14. i am SO glad you posted this, because the place i get my hair done is HIDEOUS. looks like i stepped into the movie Steel Magnolias every time i'm there. BUT the girl who does my hair is young and does a fabulous job, and i never pay more than $85 for a color, cut, and style!

    i have never pinched a baby. what do babies do when you pinch them?

  15. That is soooo funny!!! We have to have our hair done!!!! I think I might know those ladies!! LOL!!

  16. Ummmm, I go to a salon just like this... When I was single with no kids, I went to a pricy one that I was in heaven at. Now I am satisified if I can just go every 6 months or so... I wish i could get there every 6 weeks... That would be a real treat! But now my highlights only cost me $45, that is a steal from what I used to pay...

  17. oh my gosh the nerve of some people. i had this happen to me when Alaina was a baby at the mall. Except she didn't ask and I asked her to Please not touch my baby and she said, oh I have clean hands. crazy!!!

  18. You are funny - and a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do! What a great idea for that tent!!!!!

  19. You are so funny! I didn't know salons out there still looked like this - reminds me of the mall salon my mom took us to when I was in elementary school! :) Thanks for another great laugh. Good call on the baby tent. :)

  20. Did you make your own car seat cover? was it hard? i was thinking of trying to recover my daughters - but am a tad intimidated :)