Nothing.
I can function on a rather large sleep debt.
But the economy has nothing on how dang gosh darn (I would cuss here if I was into such things) sleep deprived I am.

I know things like the exact second the nearest Starbucks drive thru opens.
My pajamas and I love the guts out of that Starbucks drive thru.
I know what a sunrise looks like.  Or more specifically what 100 sunrises look like.
I know that immediately after said sunrise, fifty billion crows fly from the hills to the right of me over to someplace to the left of me as I drive home from my beloved Starbucks drive thru.
A live reenactment of Hitchcock's The Birds is a bit much to take on a few hours of sleep.  Believe you me.

This charming boy, with his big eyes and obscenely long eyelashes (same eyelashes that I throw down money to get glued on to my peepers) does not sleep.

He did sleep.  He slept brilliantly.
The kind of baby that makes you want to punch a new mom in the face, when you ask how their two month old is sleeping.
He slept.  I slept.  I got used to sleeping.  We had a really good thing going.

Then he got sick.
Bad sick.
Scary sick.
Pertussis sick.

A gnarly baby Z-pack kicked those tiny ugly germs to the curb.  But his need for sleep hitched a ride along with them.

When his need for sleep went on vacation, so did my ability to form a coherent thought.  Or sentence.  Or ability to remember ANYTHING.  Or really do much of anything.  It's hilarious how many emails are languishing in my inbox.  Or how much laundry/ paperwork/ everything in the universe/ is piling up.  By hilarious, I mean, totally NOT HILARIOUS.  More like scary.  Freaky scary.  Pull the covers over my head scary.  If I could actually be in a position to pull covers over my head.  Which would mean sleep.  Which would be amazing.

So help a sleep starved sister out...
I am working on a FAQ section of the blog here, and to do that I suppose I need to know what the FAQ are, you know, since I have forgotten them all.

Is there something that you were dying to know?
Something that I have or haven't blabbed about yet?
Ask away.

Just don't ask for baby sleep training advice.  Because that is something I suddenly know nothing about. Not a thing.  I can get my 7.75 year old to nap just fine.  But the baby human in the house has thrown everything that worked previously, violently out the window.

Plus, it will give me something to post.  Since as of late, I haven't had much to say.
Besides, you know, HE DOES NOT SLEEP.

P.S.  If you are one of those parents who swear that going from three kids to four kids is NBD, I think that you are a dirty rotten liar.  Or I want some of whatever you are having.  Because it is a VERY BIG DEAL!!!!!

Thankfully I don't get much spam.
Blogger and Gmail do a great job of filtering it for me.

From time to time I like to take a little peek in to the spam folders and see how many people are eager to give me love, money and drugs.  So many people.  I could be so rich.  So medicated.  So in love.  But alas.  Gmail keeps us apart.

However, Blogger has let a few slip by this past week.  A few too weird and crazy to just delete.  Screenshots were in order before they were sent to the trash.
Screenshots so as to prevent anyone from accidentally clicking a link.  Because:
A.  Who knows what actually hides behind said links
B.  It only takes one little hacking to know better than to get too trusty.

Clowns Miami!!!!
How did they know???

If only I lived in West Palm Beach, my kids could be in a fairy land with celebrating and enjoyment and entertainment things!!!
Too bad I am on the wrong coast.

Thanks for the oddities spam bots.
Got any links to solve my laundry problem?