I can't stop talking, or thinking about the new show This is Us.  I don't know what the season holds, or if it will end up taking the place in my heart held by my all time favorite show Friday Night Lights (Tami Taylor is my spirit animal), but if anything it has by far the most beautifully written scene I have ever watched.  It should be required viewing for every OB, every parent who has faced loss, and really every person that breathes oxygen.

When we lost Joy, our OB lacked the skills, experience, and empathy to offer any comfort.  It is a deeply painful part of our story.  When faced with the most tragic moment of our young lives, we were met with cold, clinical words as she swiftly left the room, and handed us off to a doctor we had never met.  I would like to believe that there are many doctors out there who have been profoundly changed and shaped by tragedy, and have found strength and redemption from it.  I feel like Dr. Katowsky was speaking directly to me.  Saying the words that I wish I could have heard all those years ago.  Words that are strong and hopeful and true.  Words that echo each time I share what I have learned about loss and change and how we became different people that dark January day.  People that brought our daughter home from the hospital, just not in the way we had hoped.

So I sat myself down at the computer and through tear filled eyes I made a printable.  These words are simple, have been said in a million different ways, but they are words I didn't even know that I needed to hear.  Maybe you needed to hear them too, and maybe even see them in your home.
Printable available here.


  1. Oh....I thought this speech was right to us to. We've lost 7 pregnancies. It's why my husband is became a NICU doctor. Because he knows....he knows what it's like to loose a baby you desperately want. And he can fight for them and rejoice when they win. And he grieves hard and sits with the families when they loose. It's a beautiful and hard gift. But the best gifts are. And it's the way we carry the ones we lost. Dr. Katowsky had the words that I never have had. Thank you for the printable. It will be up in our house.

  2. It is such a great show...hope it keeps up the hype! Great printables and thank you!

  3. I hadn't watched it yet but now I want to. I think I'll go right now.

  4. I absolutely love this - thanks for sharing! I also loved the show, and I am thinking it is going to fill the void left from "Parenthood" being over. I haven't ever watched Friday Night Lights, which is ironic since I am a high school football coach's wife! But I am not writing to share about TV shows, I am writing to tell you that I have loved reading your blog over the years and I can't imagine the pain you have gone through. I found your blog when the word "hope" was my lifeline, most likely through a Google search. Now, I have a little girl named Hope who is 4 years old. She was born after years of secondary infertility and she is autistic. It has been a crazy ride, but I know that God is control of it all. I thank you for always sharing your heart with us all.

  5. It warms my heart to read about your experience with "This is Us". I was looking forward and couldn't wait to watch it but as my hubby and I sat there watching the labor scene, my anxiety took over and I had to fast forward (through every hospital scene) as I didn't realize from the previews that there would be a baby loss. I hope that someday I can go back and watch it. But for now, it gives me hope that you can.