my insomnia manifests itself in difficulty falling asleep.
not staying asleep.

so when I awaken suddenly in the middle of the night for seemingly no reason I always think that there might actually be a reason.

I double check that the doors are locked.
I check on each of the girls to see if they are breathing.
(tell me that I am not the only freak that does this.)
then I spend time in prayer before falling back asleep.
my mind always races and I need to calm down.
chatting with God always helps.

last night I woke up at 3:16a.m.

the doors were locked.
the girls were breathing.

haiti was on my heart.

I turned on my phone and checked twitter in the darkness.

Kristen had just posted the following:

Out of haiti.
Evacuated to an airforce base in new jersey.
Tired but so glad to be in US.

They are coming home.

I am rejoicing.

Keanan is not.

I am weeping.


  1. My heart is heavy for Keanon...why can't he come home???

  2. His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He's watching you!
    Prayers for Keanan!

  3. Another one of my friends is in Hati visiting her soon to be adopted child there. She mentioned that there is going to be a petition to try to remove the orphaned children that are ready for adoption to Canada as refugees until Haiti can sort out everything.

  4. I started reading your friends blog, and am glad that she gets to go home to her family but sad that Keanon cannot. I also think when I wake in the middle of the night it is for a reason, and I too check EVERYTHING to make sure its alright. (even the cell phones for messages) We will pray for your friends family!

  5. God never wastes a sleepless night. Whenever He wakes me I pray, I might not always know why or for who I am praying but I pray. I am thankful you have good news, and will pray for Keanan.

  6. No, you are not the only one who does that. I think I will check to see if my kids are still breathing even when they are gangly teenagers with their ankles hanging over the end of the beds. I check doors and windows too.

    So sorry to hear about Keanan. I hope he gets to come home soon.

  7. P.S.- I once heard somewhere that when you wake up in the middle of night it's because God needs you to pray for someone or something. I'm not sure if I read it in a book or if someone else taught me that when I was little. But I've always believed in it.

  8. So glad to hear of your friends safe return and heartbroken at the same time that she had to leave her son behind. Prayers are with all of the people in Haiti.

  9. No you're not the only freak that does that. My husband makes fun of me for it all the time. Like everyday.
    Anyway, when I had my 2nd baby a dear friend told me that she used to use that time awake in the middle of the night to pray. I loved that and immediately stopped seeing it as a hassle but a blessing.
    I read your friend's blog last night and it broke my heart. Thank you for sharing that update! I hope that sweet boy gets to come home soon!

  10. A friend of mine always says that when you wake in the night it's because Got wants to meet with you. I prayed and prayed for your friend last night and this morning. I am so glad that she is safe...but so sad that Keanan is not with her. I will continue to pray for them.
    P.S. I also check to make sure my little one is breathing.

  11. That gave me chills....real chills. And no, you aren't the only one who checks their kids...I am glad I am not a freak, and in good company!

  12. thinking of Keanan....prayers.

  13. I always check on my daughter to make sure she is breathing. And my heart goes out to your friend and her little boy.

  14. Oh, how sad it all makes me. I really cannot even imagine.

  15. I'm totally one of those freaks that checks to see if they are still breathing. It makes me feel better.

    My heart aches for your friend and her little boy. I hope he gets to come home soon.

  16. You must check this out! Hope for Haiti

  17. she must be heartbroken by that.

    i had a very similar awakening this was awesome and weird at the same time. God gets us when he needs us. :) even if we're sleeping.

    i'll keep praying for keanon to make it to his new home. so sad.
    happy they are safe though.

  18. Just found you. I am so very, very sorry. So sad and sorry.

  19. I’m so glad Kristin was able to get back to the states. Sorry to hear her little guy wasn’t able to come back with her. The adoption system is seriously flawed. I’m continuing to pray for them and all involved with/in Haiti.

    Cute photo of you two btw. :)

  20. Sometimes God speaks to us in numbers:

    John 3:16
    "For God so loved the world that He gave His only Son, so that everyone who believes in Him might not perish but might have eternal life."

    Glad that Kristen made it home safely, and praying for Keanan!

  21. So thankful that Kristen is coming home, but heartbroken that Keanon isn't. I'll continue to keep them all in my prayers.

    And no, you're not the only one who does that. You're not a freak at all.

  22. Julie this total breaks me heart and moves me to tears. No mom should have to be separated from their child and especially in such a horrific situation. I am sure she is sick with worry over his needs being met, as am I over hearing their story. Their family as well as all of those in Haiti, or with loved one in Haiti are in my prayers.

    Julie thank you for making us aware of these stories and helping to remind me of God's hand and the power of prayer. You truly inspire me.

  23. My heart is with you, I can't say it enough that our prays ares with you and your family! You soon will be able to bring Keanon home.

  24. My heart aches for all of the people in Haiti!

    Glad she & her daughter are safe but sad Keanan is still there!

    I will keep praying for them!

  25. Hey Girl!
    I nominated you for an award over on my blog!
    you don't have to accept it or anything--just know that I enjoy reading your blog and that it makes my day!

  26. I too tend to assume I've woken for a reason. After checking the usual suspects, if I'm wide awake I think it's usually because God couldn't get me to listen in my busy day, and wants me to get praying about something.

    I love reading your blog so much, I would like to pass on a Sunshine Award to you if that's OK? The details are over at my blog.

  27. i just read about keenan tonight...praying and praying for him....