Saturday, November 22, 2008

This is where I will probably lose all of you.


In life I try my best to be honest.

So here I go...
in spite of the imminent repercussions...
I sadly admit that I have indeed read all of the Twilight books.

So now one of two things happen:

You judge me for reading them....
(Should I have?  Probably not, but I love to read, wondered what in the heck the buzz was all about, got sucked in to aforementioned buzz.  Embarrassed.  Stop hating.)

Or, you judge me for not falling in love with them.

Because I certainly did not love them.
(At all.  I want those hours of my life back.  Just glad that I borrowed the books, or else I would want my $70 or so dollars back.  Stop hating.)

Yes, I am a nerd.  I enjoy fancy literature.  Preferably British.  Ideally over 100 years old.
I like to read books written by authors who actually know how to use a thesaurus.

My favorite book of all time, you ask?  A Farewell to Arms by Hemingway.  (To be fair, I suppose many more people hate Hemingway, than Stephenie Meyer.)  I will take Frederic and Catherine over Edward (ewww) and Bella (yawn) any day.

I felt their relationship was forced, dysfunctional, obsessive and disturbingly possessive.

I have dated an Edward.

A restraining order may or may not have been involved.

It makes my heart sad to think that zillions of little girls look at Edward and Bella to have the ultimate relationship.  More like the ultimate opposite of what they should be hoping for.

Don't even get me started on the scandalous R rated scenes in Breaking Dawn!

So why did I keep reading?

Great question.  Still trying to figure that out.

I read somewhere that perhaps Stephenie Meyer is sprinkling crack in the pages of her book.  

That might explain it.

Read this, this and this for more (humorous) thoughts on this phenomenon.

In place of a movie ticket and a wasted night out, watch this.
(But not in the hallway next to your kids' bedroom while they are sleeping.  They will be awoken by your laughter.  Trust me.  I speak from experience.)

Thanks Kristen for the links!


Now that all of you Twilighters are seconds away from deleting me from your blog list...

I have a peace offering.

Who wants my copy of Entertainment Weekly featuring your beloved?
Leave me a comment telling me you forgive my snobbishness and that we can still be friends.

27 comments:

  1. Oh boo! I can't believe you didn't LOVE them... yes, I am of the people who thinks you are crazy for not liking them hahaha!! To each her own, I get that not everyone will love it like I did :) But I do have to say- the scandalous scenes in Breaking Dawn... I loved them hahaha, it took them long enough, geez!!! I had to wait four books for that! AND I thought it was great that Bella and Edward were married before the scandalous stuff started hehe! All in all, loved loved loved them. Can't say that I loved the movie as much, and I am still dead tired from seeing that first darn midnight showing! Do you plan on seeing the movie??? Ok, ok, I will stop my crazy-obsessed Twilight rant LOL:) xoxox!

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  2. Oh Julie, you are such a literary snob. No one is claiming they are great pieces of literature. I hate that I liked them. I really do. I guess that proves my mind has turned to mush since being a mom. sigh. We won't think less of you if you like them just a little.

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  3. The last five seconds of that video are CLASSIC!! Hilarious! So glad to find a kindred spirit :)

    I hate to admit it, but I went to the movie last night (my SIL begged me and even bought my ticket). All I can say is, I'm glad I thought ahead and brought my Family Fun magazine so that the two hours weren't a COMPLETE waste of time...

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  4. I LOVED them too!! Sorry. ;) And, my hubby and I went to see the movie last night. :) Not the best movie of all time...

    I have read each book in the series 5 times!!! HA HA HA! Don't judge. ;)

    Sorry you hated them so!

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  5. Oh, and I didn't think that video was that funny... I am totally open minded to most things, but just didn't find it as humorous as some. It was creative, though!

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  6. I've described twilight to a friend as not very good chocolate. You start eating it unaware, but then you're sucked in and suddenly the bowl is empty and you're left wondering why you ate so much mediocre chocolate. I think it had a potentially very good story, I just wish a better author had written it (see, now they'll hate me more than you!).

    I've been known to argue with my sister about why Edward isa complete tool. Then I went with her to the midnight screening. Edited for the sake of time, the fact he's a complete tool is less apparent in the movie. I may have been distracted by the red lipstick he was wearing.

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  7. harry potter is better.
    that's right.
    i said it :)

    and julie, i love your honesty.
    feel better soon!!

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  8. I enjoyed the first book and I am starting the second book which I borrowed from a Jr Higher at my church (lol) but I do not understand the obsession. I don't find Edward very appealing and I saw the movie and thought they should have used a more convincing character. I guess we are back to the the Harry Potter phenomenon of "at least they are reading".

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  9. I haven't read the books but I do have to admit I am very curious! I guess all the buzz can suck you in...I am a little confused and guess concerned about what age groups these books are intended for...I guess Im just a big ol' fuddy duddy! Would you mind sharing some of your fav. modern day reads..I'm always looking for a good book since I'm currently tied to the house with my 2yr old, 1 yr old, and 4 month old...Thanks and as always your blog rocks!

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  10. Okay please don't enter me in the giveaway. I too do not like Twilight. I have not read them. I attemted to start, but I agree the writing did not grab me at all. I do not get all the buzz! The video was funny though, thanks for sharing ;)

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  11. I am sorry you hated them. I was torn between getting on the bandwagon and not reading that kind of lit. I fell in with the first book (don't judge) and finished all 4 within 7 days! I agree with the rated "R" and still do not think they are appropriate for teens! Thanks for your honesty and I won't judge you or anyone else!!!!
    Pam

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  12. I thought the books were fun, but definetly not "literature". I have a friend who is DYING to get her hands on that mag. If you don't have any takers yets, I would love to get it for her. My email is:

    Chanda_nielsen@hotmail.com

    Thanks!

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  13. Well she definitely isn't Hemingway!

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  14. I also gave into the hype and read them. I liked the first one, maybe two but then they got disturbing for me too. But what really bothers me is the extent to which people are obsessed with these books. These books which are fiction! We had girls at church who were reading them DURING church. As in the pastor was preaching and their noses were buried in Twlight! What??? And reading them multiple times? I had to challenge my small group girls at church to think of the last time they read their Bibles mulitple times. Cause I'm pretty sure that book is way more compelling than Twilight. Can you imagine what would happen if they were as obsessed with reading their Bibles as they are about these books?

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  15. I haven't read any of them. I didn't even know what it was all about until the movie came out--I live under a rock! But I have to say I love British Lit too!

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  16. yay! I am glad some one else out there feels the same way i do about the whole twilight Hype. I read the books...great for a 15 year old. I think I'll pass on the movie.

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  17. I do forgive you. But I have taken you off the pedestal I have placed you on, as well. Know that.
    But seriously, I think the real reason why women and girls have fallen for Edward is because he offers unconditional love and protection. Society today wants women to believe that they have everything they need to succeed in life, and that they do not need a man. God created us with a desire and need for a man, however. We want to feel desired and protected, hence, the infatuation with the cute vampire.
    OK, can I have the mag now?? :)

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  18. Wow, you just made me feel a lot better about quitting half-way through the first book! I found their relationship soo over-the-top-sappy, that I just couldn't wade through it. I guess having 3 kids under 3 is a constant reminder of reality and I just don't need the escape that bad :) I will probably rent the movie eventually, though, I guess.

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  19. I don't want your magazine...I didn't really have an interest in the first place. I have sooo many books on my to-read list, its crazy!!
    Elise

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  20. Okay, yeah, that video was funny!!
    Elise
    I always thought the clips from the movie were a tad cheesy. I'm just saying if a vampire was to take off flying with me, I'd be freaked out.

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  21. LOVED this post! I feel much the same way. I read the books. Liked the first one okay, but liked the subsequent ones less and less. I thought Edward and Bella's relationship was SO forced and built on, well, nothing. In fact, I kept waiting and waiting for the relationship to go deeper and progress, but it never did. I would NEVER want my teen daughter reading these!!! (SO, I don't really want the mag. I hope my friend Penny wins it though!!!)

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  22. I for one like the books, but I really think it's great you posted your feelings about the books. I think the problem is that when so many people like the books get all worked up when others don't. Personally I can see why people don't like the books and I can see why people do like the books. Like I said, I think it's great that you're being honest on why you don't like them. I think everyone has a right to state how they feel and other's need to respect that. Oh, and that video clip is hilarious!

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  23. I loved the books but couldnt tell you why... just got sucked into the story - I was irritated at the grammer and horrible story telling of the first book but it was like crack and I quickly read the next three! I will go see the movie but not until the crowds die down, there is nothing I hate more than annoying teenagers in a theater.

    And I got two of the books from swaptree.com and the others my mom bought so we could share... So I paid about 4 bucks total - I would not have read them if I had to pay full price... that is not how I roll! On sale or no deal!

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  24. you definitely don't lose me! if my middle and high school girls think these are good literature, it pretty much sums up for me that it's NOT! i'll take hemingway and austen any day over twilight! even one of my 10th grade daughter's was coming home telling me she had heard from her friends at school how stupid the books were and how she wasn't going to waste her time reading them. i have 6 teenage girls and 4 of them have been reading the books and like them. i don't have time to waste!

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  25. I stopped reading halfway through book 2.
    It was hard to stop.

    I am a Christian and had trouble with the fact that she looked upon her soul as having no value without Edward.
    She would sell her soul to the Devil to be with him.

    I hated that it dragged me in.
    I now want to read again.
    I can't.
    I want to see the movie.
    I can't.
    My relationship with Christ will not allow me to continue on.
    it's sad that THIS is what I struggle with in my Christian life.
    But I do.
    These books sadden me.
    They make sin and immorality okay for young people of today.

    if you're not a Christian--then they make great reading, I'm sure.

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  26. I'm so glad to finally hear someone say exactly what I've been thinking about the series. I'm a leader of about 20 young girls at my church who had all read the books, most of my friends had read it, so I decided to see what all the fuss was about. I could not believe MY (I think of them as my own) teenage girls were filling their minds with such junk! No one should look up to such an unhealthy obsessive relationship!

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  27. Ok, I've been reading through your archives and I finally had to comment on one, even though it's from years ago. You saying you dated an Edward totally hit a cord with me. I was an RA in my dorms and my girls begged me to go see the second Twilight movie with them. (I don't even know its name) I did and,in the scene where Edward was telling Bella he was leaving her had been almost Word for Word what my ex boyfriend had said to me about two months before. If we had still had contact with each other I probably would have asked if he had seen the movie! (Probably not since he was a 25 year old guy) All that being said, knowing how terrible our relationship was, I could NEVER support anyone who said Edward would be the "best boyfriend ever." (As I heard my dorm section saying) Yes, on the drive home I did lecture the girls hardcore. :-) You'll definitely be keeping me around. :-)

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