In life I try my best to be honest.
So here I go...
in spite of the imminent repercussions...
I sadly admit that I have indeed read all of the Twilight books.
So now one of two things happen:
You judge me for reading them....
(Should I have? Probably not, but I love to read, wondered what in the heck the buzz was all about, got sucked in to aforementioned buzz. Embarrassed. Stop hating.)
Or, you judge me for not falling in love with them.
Because I certainly did not love them.
(At all. I want those hours of my life back. Just glad that I borrowed the books, or else I would want my $70 or so dollars back. Stop hating.)
Yes, I am a nerd. I enjoy fancy literature. Preferably British. Ideally over 100 years old.
I like to read books written by authors who actually know how to use a thesaurus.
My favorite book of all time, you ask? A Farewell to Arms by Hemingway. (To be fair, I suppose many more people hate Hemingway, than Stephenie Meyer.) I will take Frederic and Catherine over Edward (ewww) and Bella (yawn) any day.
I felt their relationship was forced, dysfunctional, obsessive and disturbingly possessive.
I have dated an Edward.
A restraining order may or may not have been involved.
It makes my heart sad to think that zillions of little girls look at Edward and Bella to have the ultimate relationship. More like the ultimate opposite of what they should be hoping for.
Don't even get me started on the scandalous R rated scenes in Breaking Dawn!
So why did I keep reading?
Great question. Still trying to figure that out.
I read somewhere that perhaps Stephenie Meyer is sprinkling crack in the pages of her book.
That might explain it.
In place of a movie ticket and a wasted night out, watch this.
(But not in the hallway next to your kids' bedroom while they are sleeping. They will be awoken by your laughter. Trust me. I speak from experience.)
Thanks Kristen for the links!
Now that all of you Twilighters are seconds away from deleting me from your blog list...
I have a peace offering.
Who wants my copy of Entertainment Weekly featuring your beloved?
Leave me a comment telling me you forgive my snobbishness and that we can still be friends.