Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Poopasaurus Rex.

Since this little child ceases to amaze me with her antics (check out this morning's picture) I dug up the original email I sent to my friends regarding the inaugural Poopgate 2007.  We were trying to coordinate a girls craft weekend and I was beyond desperate for a break.  Enjoy.

Because before I didn't need to get away bad enough, let me share with you the past 24 hours.  
They are so wonderful.
Put the kids to bed last night.
Standard.
Woke up early to have my coffee.  Went outside to get the paper.
Notice the MASSIVE toilet paper job bestowed upon our house courtesy of the Jr. High football team.
Thanks to all of the parents who let their children participate.  Nice.  On a church day.
Jason is out of town writing his book.  Guess who gets to clean it up?
Picked up the house and did millionth load of cloth diapers.  (Totally over it.)
Made an eggnog latte.  First happy moment.
Smelled major poop.  Assumed it was Halley's pull-up, no biggie.
Get Halley up.  Change poopy pull-up.  Put her in the costume of the day.  Today it is Cinderella.
Lucy is whining in her crib.  The usual.  Open her door.
OH @#%*!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My little Houdini unzipped her sleeper and removed her ENORMOUS POOPY DIAPER!
Poop everywhere.
Every rung of  the crib.  The walls.  The sheets.  Babydolls.  Blankets.  Carpet.  Turtle that plays music and lights.  Eyes.  Ears.  Hair.  Mouth.  Nose.  Torso.  Arms.  Legs.  
Now Halley is crying because Lucy looks so scary.
Take picture to send to Jason.
Bathe Lucy.
Get them cereal and put on Yo Gabba Gabba.
Use just about every Clorox wipe in the house.
Lysol.
Oxyclean.
Throw music and lights turtle in trash.  Bye bye $25.
As I am contorting to clean the crib my favorite jeans rip.  Bye bye $50 plus another $20 for alterations.  Now they are in the trash with the poop extravaganza.
It' s only 9 a.m.
When are we leaving?
Seriously... when?

12 comments:

  1. Sorry...I KNOW this is not funny, but it did make me giggle a bit! Just take comfort knowing that we have ALL been there in some way, shape or form!!

    Now I know why it is so important to keep Lulu's jammies on!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. oh my! That's awful but yes, a bit funny... how old was she??? Azura is 6 months, when will I need to worry about that one!? as it might give me nightmares tonight...

    ReplyDelete
  3. OH I have to sympathize with you. I don't think anyone can even imagine this unless you've been through it. And sister, I've been through it. It is incredibly disgusting and makes you want to jump out a window. And then when you don't, gaw the smell, the sight, the clean up. The DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT TOUCHING ME CHILD. The bath, the aftermath in the bathtub, the cleaning products that come out, all of them. Still the feeling that you didn't get it all out, and definitely the lingering smell. Real or imaginary? Probably some of both. And then... rinse (literally) and repeat. I can't even remember how many times this happened, but I do remember the obligatory photo that had to be sent to my Jason, to let him know just how gross it really was.

    And to top it off, the first time this happened, I left a bottle of cleaner on the dresser that I didn't realize was within reaching distance from the crib, so we ended up in acute care later that day with cleaner in the eyes.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Oh I have been there... you would think the kid thought her poop smelled like Coco Chanel because she was wearing the stench proudly... My son never did this BUT my sister did and I am told I did *oops*

    ReplyDelete
  5. Julie.....I am dying over here...you could not have told that any better......I am so sorry dear....but thanks for the comic relief....been there done that...I feel ya.

    I am completely mourning for your jeans.....Yikes...that had to be the worst part...
    Oh good jeans are hard to come by.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Happened upon your blog and love it! Laughing out loud, in fact. Beautiful children, poopified or not, and beautiful style you have!

    ReplyDelete
  7. The thing I love about your blog is that it could be me speaking - I am also a Youth Pastors wife in So Cal and am experiencing the joys (!) of motherhood with my 7 month old girl... thanks for sharing!

    ReplyDelete
  8. i.am.so.sorry. :(

    That stinks! (literally)

    Here's wishing you a poop-free morning!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Ugh - we had that issue for a while. BRU-TAL! Hope this morning ws better.

    ReplyDelete
  10. OMG. It's not funny, and yet, I am LOL! You do have a way with words, and even though I'm not a momma, I feel your pain 'cause I've had to clean up a mess a like that before and the memory is still burned into me...

    ReplyDelete
  11. two words... DUCT TAPE!! i know this sounds crazy but i've been using in on my 22 mo. daughter for about a month now. no, i didn't just come up w/ it on my own. i read it in parent magazine. it works like a dream!!

    ReplyDelete
  12. When my son was about 4 he was always ready to help with his baby sister. My husband asked to check and see if the baby had left a "prize" in her diaper. Eager to help, the poor little guy grabbed the back of her diaper and pulled it out only to come out with his fingers covered in "poopie". The look on his face was priceless.

    ReplyDelete

I love sunshine, happy people, and the power to delete. Sparkles! Rainbows! Unicorns!