The eyelashes for miles.
Of which I am super jealous.
But, lets just have a little laugh on my behalf, okay?
Because it's fun.
Because it's involving the Walmarts.
Of course it is.
You see, I am not a frequent patron of the Walmarts, mainly because I drive past three Targets just to get to one. Also, because it's the Walmarts.
But on one rare such day, I needed to buy purple (yes purple, that's an entirely different story) stretchy sequin trim. Speaking of which, I go CRAZZZZZY when people say sequence instead of sequin. As in "I just got the cutest sequenced dress."
NO. You did not get a sequenced dress. That does not exist in the universe.
Here's a free grammar lesson kids:
A sequin is a sparkly little decorative coin, usually used on some sort of garment.
A sequence is an ordered list of objects or events.
You cannot wear an ordered list of objects or events.
You can wear sequins to a fancy event. Or to the Walmarts.
Back to me and my purple sequin trim adventure at the Walmarts. (Which is almost a perfect set up for a joke: So this girl walked into the Walmarts to buy some purple sequin trim...)
I only had baby dreamy eyes with me, and he was chattering as he is know to do, while I was searching for the perfect SEQUIN trim, when suddenly I was mobbed by a friendly blue vest wearing employee.
First the comments on his feet (Yes. Baby feet. All babies have them. Mhmmm. They are cute. Yes edible even....)
Which moved on to his eyes. It always moves on to his eyes. (Yes. I know. HUGE eyes. Yes. They are blue. No, my eyes are green. Yes, ladykiller. Blah blah blah....)
Then as per the norm, the conversation moves on to his eyelashes. The ridiculously long, curled and flared eyelashes. (Yes, the boys always get the best eyelashes. I know. I can't believe how long they are. He's nine months old, yep, I know. Nine months and I just cannot believe that he already has lashes like that....)
To which she pushes her glasses up on her nose, gets all up in my grill, and FULL ON CHECKS ME OUT. Like a lot. Staring at my eyes. FOR WAY TOO LONG.
My eyes that have actual makeup on them. With multiple coats of my fave Falsies mascara. My eyes that I was all proud of actually doing, and being on time for my morning meeting. My eyes that I thought looked less tired and more cute than the norm... Those eyes.
She shakes her head. Lets out a big HUMPHHHHH. Tops it off with:
"Well he certainly didn't get them from you. I can't even see your lashes."
Then as if she just drops the microphone, she walks away.
Oh, the Walmarts. You are always good for a laugh. A laugh, sequins, and a new tube of mascara.