With your pretty colors.
Her endless perkiness.
The promise that I could be even more amazing.
I will not be swayed.
Because NOBODY has a laundry room that looks like this.
Nor would eye candy appliances solve all of my washing and drying woes.
But most of all,
your turquoise fabulousness could never take this blah ivory shirt
and a bottle of Rit,
combined with my 10 year old top loader,
and make me something teal and fabulous.
My white Whirlpool suits me just fine.