Today is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day.
Not because a mother could ever forget.
But because a mother never forgets.
Joy is a part of our everyday life.
Even without my efforts to include her in our story,
the girls include her.
They ask about her.
How old is she?
What does she eat in Heaven?
Does she have a nightlight?
When will they get to meet her?
Every night Halley sleeps with this
lamb that I was given at Joy's shower.
She even brought it to school to share today.
To her it is neither sad nor scary to have a sister in Heaven.
At the park the other day a boy asked if she was the biggest sister.
Without hesitation she answered:
"No, I have a big sister who lives with Jesus."
then kept right on playing.
The boy didn't make an excuse to get away.
He didn't find it awkward.
He just kept playing too.
So if I could share anything with the world it would be this:
Please don't be scared off when you hear about a miscarriage, stillbirth or infant death. Don't feel bad for asking. Don't think that bringing it up will upset the mother. That baby is part of her story. Part of her family. Remember that baby. Because the mother will never forget.
God has brought us so far.
Our lives are so full.
There is so much happiness in our home.
But I still miss her.
I wonder what she would be like.
I ponder what our family would be like.
What Halley would be like.
She was not meant to be the oldest.
But as I patiently wait to meet her.
To hold her.
I find solace in the fact that she is with Jesus.
Happy, safe, perfect.
The words on her grave marker are taken from the song,
Each lyric has comforted my heart in many a dark hour.
I challenge you to take a moment to write a quick
note to a mother who has lost a child.
Whether it was last week or
fifty years ago.
Just a simple
"I am thinking of you today and remembering your sweet little one."
Immeasurably meaningful. Immensely thoughtful.