So I have chatted a bit about Freecycle before.
I have had quite a few queries as to what exactly it is.
A quick summary, is it is like Craigslist, but all of the items are offered for free.
You can even ask for things you need.
Sounds wonderful and magical doesn't it?
Well, according to my friend Alicia it is the best thing ever.
Here is a few of the things she has procured:
family passes to an incredible aquarium,
an amazing jogging stroller,
a trundle bed,
a gorgeous crib,
grocery bags of NICE fabric,
a full Fisher Price Nativity set....
The one catch is, you only can sign up for the Freecycle group in your town. Alicia lives two towns over. In Awesomeville.
I signed up for my local Freecycle group which includes 4 pretty uppity OC cities.
I instantly began to dream of the free treasures that would come my way.
However, instead I entered the Freecycle Twilight Zone.
I apparently do not live in Awesomeville.
I live in Awfulville.
Where weird people and their weird stuff come to die.
Each day I get about 20 emails from the Freecycle moderator with offers of goods.
"Crib mattress. Several rips along each side."
"A few ziploc bags."
"Used king size waterbed sheets."
"Furby puzzle with multiple pieces missing."
"Opened bags of assorted snacks."
"A can of beets."
"Wire hangers from dry cleaners."
"1/4 of a bottle of sunscreen that expires next week."
I am not kidding.
The crazy thing is, the next day my inbox is filled with messages that read:
"TAKEN: Can of beets."
Okay, lets be perfectly honest, if I needed a can of beets (barf) it would most likely cost me less to buy it from the store than drive across town to a random house and pick up their old one.
Each day Alicia would get rad offers and I would get creepy ones.
Another favorite pastime of my Freecyle group is competition.
"OFFER: Teddy bear wearing a Christmas vest.
Please attach a photograph of who you would give this to and a 100 word essay as to why they deserve it."
Mind you, this is August, and no stuffed animal in the UNIVERSE is worth that kind of trouble.
I am usually trying to sneak stuffed animals OUT of the house without my kids noticing. Not writing manifestos as to why I deserve new ones.
So a month went by and nothing tempted me.
Then a little email dropped in my box:
"OFFER: Shutters. Please state why you need them."
I had been wanting a pair of shutters to hang pictures on and to add some interest to the blank walls in Janey's room. I immediately wrote back and told of my plan, as well as my availability to pick them up at her convience.
Excitedly I awaited my first Freecycle success story.
Instead I got an email back.
"I have given the shutters away to another responder. I think they would be too dark for a nursery."
Did I ask for decorating advice?
Has she ever heard of the new fangled invention SPRAY PAINT?
So anyway, I gave up trying to get things from Freecyle and began to use it to get rid of things.
At first everything was fine. I put out an offer, gave the recipient my addy, they picked it up from my porch.
But then I gave away a huge garbage bag of clothes.
Probably over 50 items.
From Gap and Old Navy.
The recipient emailed me back after she picked them up.
To thank me?
No, no, no.
Remember, I live in Awfulville.
If Alicia in Awesomeville gave away a bag of clothes the taker would probably send her flowers or a Mercedes or something.
I got an email back basically saying:
"I hate your clothes. They are awful. I would never be caught dead in them. You ruined my life by giving them to me. Now I am so very inconvenienced by this bag of hideousness. Can I bring them back?"
This is what I wanted to respond:
No. They were free. You can not bring them back. I might smack you. Throw them away for all I care. You are welcome, by the way.
But I didn't. Because even in Awfulville I feel a need to be nice.
So I took a little Freecycle break.
Until we listed our house and I cleaned out the sideyard.
I threw an offer out there for a vintage window with an American flag.
Which is awesome.
Which I could sell.
So the responder came to get it and left it on my sideyard.
No note, no explanation.
I emailed her to tell her that I would be offering it to someone else.
"I came by, but it didn't fit in my car."
She is a LIAR!!!!
It is only 2 x 3 feet.
I can fit 4 x 8 sheets of drywall in my van along with three kids in carseats.
Even a SmartCar can fit stinking Shaq inside.
Liar liar pants on fire didn't want the free AWESOME window.
So then I listed a child's table and chair set from Ikea.
Responder came to get it and then emailed me:
"I'd have to paint it and that just isn't worth it..."
The zero dollars that you are spending on it?
The set that I bought. With money. Brought home. And built. Then offered to you FOR FREE?
I could go on and on about my Awfulville Freecycle adventures.
In fact, I don't think I have ever written a wordier post.
The constant stream of realtors coming through my house has kept me on edge and away from my stress relieving craft time.
Hopefully I will resign as mayor of Crazytown soon....
Until then, watch out.
Rambling, rant filled posts may come your way.
peace out, girl scout.