Tuesday, May 26, 2009

been there. not going back.

A while back I signed up for American Apparel's email list.
My hope was to get a coupon to buy some baby gowns.
(They are really soft.)
The coupon never came.
Instead, weekly hideousness appears in my inbox.


I survived the 80's.
I have no intentions of reliving those days.
Somewhere there are pictures of me in a neon,
off the shoulder oversized sweatshirt,
leggings, reeboks with the straps,
double neon socks and matching scrunchies.
(Yes, scrunchies plural.  Side ponytails
require more than one.)

Somewhere.  But not here.  No need to dig them out.
I don't want your eyes to bleed.

American Apparel does however.

I must be officially old.
And lame.
Because I don't get it.
Do they want to go out of business?
Is their marketing goal to make their  models look as ugly as possible?
Because it sure is working.
We work with pretty cool teenagers.
They only dress like this on our once a year 80's night.
They should change their website to don'tbuythis.com.
Imagine your man in this.
A father's day gift perhaps?


You know what, I am okay with being old and lame.
Because if this is what I should be wearing.... 
I'm good.

37 comments:

  1. Wow. That is really all I can say. I am completely with you. Why on earth would we be bringing back these styles? I really do want to know. Hidious. Wow.

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  2. that is a real company?
    oh my.
    the heels and leggings is so gross.
    it's so 16 candles.
    :)

    i will be in CA tomorrow! we are all so excited.
    i have my email through my phone so if there is something we HAVE to do in CA that you think of this week....email me.
    i wish we were going to your area.

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  3. I really cannot believe this post!
    Crazy! Thanks for brightening my day.

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  4. Oh, wow! You're not kidding! I think I just threw up a little in my mouth! Ick!

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  5. Oh my, that is so stinkin funny! Love the man with the see through shirt..thats too cool for school!

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  6. Oh I am laughing my little tush off! I felt the same way the first time I went to that site. Actually, the first time I went ot hte site, I was ASTOUNDED by some of the nearly nude, extremely provacative pictures that there were. I asked my friend if I had the address right! lol

    Oh, and a few years ago I warned my daughter that the side ponytail would not be entering our home, lol. I can only handle so much. She is not allowed to have a side ponytail. I love her, becuase to this day, she says it looks stupid! lol :) YAY!

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  7. I needed a good laugh this morning - you delivered! Haha - what a hot mess! :D

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  8. Oh, my golly! Those are terrible!

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  9. The only thing I could possibly wear..is the scrunchy!
    sandy toe

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  10. He..He..Seriously what are they thinking?! Let's just hope that this outbreak of 80's fashion fever stays contained at American Apparel and doesn't spread to the racks at Target!

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  11. Ewwwwww! I was a teenager in the 80's and even I don't want those "looks" to come back! What WERE we thinkin'?

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  12. oh good grief...I tried so hard to forget all that!!! I did the side ponytail one too many times with my long straight hair!

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  13. Yuck! I can't believe they're actually trying to sell that stuff - I wonder if anyone's buying?

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  14. Amen! I'm thinking my "old" style is pretty darn good! (after seeing THAT!!!)

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  15. Yikes... that is some scary stuff! Who really buys that? and What were those models thinking?... "Oh I'm a model it doesn't matter what I'm wearing I still look good?" WRONG!!!

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  16. Hideous. Simply hideous. I am speechless.

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  17. This was laugh out loud funny!

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  18. OH MY! Wasn't this a "what not to wear" episode?

    Who buys that stuff?!! eeewww......

    Thanks for the giggles :)

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  19. What in the world?!?!?! Those pictures are hilarious and hideous at the same time... hilardeous!!! The picture of the guy with that white baby beanie on his head looks like a sperm. Too funny!

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  20. Seriously?

    And the hair scrunchy is more 90's no? How can they mix up two decades like that? Two bad fashion decades?

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  21. Those are hideous..WOW, way to ask your customers not to buy anything!!! Man...that is soooo not cool or what anyone claiming to be cool is wearing...

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  22. The neon green scrunchie? Yikes.
    And that guy looks like he's wearing a hat I would have put on my kids when they were newborn.

    Is it just me, or were the 80's not even THAT hideous?

    ~Keri

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  23. Too funny. What ARE they thinking?! I may have to buy that spandex/t-shirt dress....

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  24. Oh my...that is seriously scary!!
    Wow, I think I{they, really} are in a time warp. That is just wrong!!
    Elise

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  25. i agree that they have the best cotton. we love their t-shirts and my daughter has the cutest pairs of their karate pants, but that is heinous. and, why in the world is that guy wearing a newborn cap? you are so right, i get enough junk in my inbox, i don't need a reminder of how bad i looked in jr.high as well!

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  26. That is so what I have been thinking for the past x months. Who buys that stuff?

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  27. Gross! Or as I would have said in the 80's... grody! Love your site! Can't wait to check back in to see what you're up to next. Who knows - you might even inspire me to try sewing!!

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  28. OMG is that dude wearing a baby cap? I have to admit I have ONE AA shirt... I was in LA and just had to see what the hype was about so I went in the store and bought a nice (cheaply made but not cheap) T-shirt.... I'm a sucker!

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  29. okay, so i almost peed my pants reading this! what has happened to american apparel. i heard the guy who started that co. is cuckoo banana crackers...i think those photos are official proof!

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  30. I'm not even kidding- I saw the see through mesh shirt on a older out of shape guy. It was tight and should not have been worn!! It came comlpete with a view of his plumbers crack!! It was HORRIBLE!!! I couldn't believe this dude went out in public!!!

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  31. this post is so funny that I almost peed my pants while reading it, but maybe that isn't saying much after having 3 kids. Anyway, super funny! I feel the same way about the 80's and AA. Terrible marketing plan. I love your blog and try to read it often. Thanks for the laugh!!

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  32. Yes!

    I've been seeing their ads online lately and was shocked at the side ponys and the big ugly glasses.

    Seriously. Like, gag me with a spoon.

    ;-)

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  33. oh my. Do they really sell these clothes? Whomever buys them needs help!

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