It's a daily struggle.
Me vs. Diet Pepsi.
Most days I win.
Some days I fail.
Others I fail miserably.
Let me tell you about one such day.
Little Miss Charming knows nothing of this ginormous vat of poison.
She is simply a prop to show its hideous size.

It goes like this:
I had gone perhaps two, maybe three weeks without my beloved/ hated DP.
It was really hot outside.
The day wasn't going well.
It called out for me on the way to pick up Halley from school.  
The only fast food along my route was KFC.

Mind you, I have never been to KFC
(because I have major problems with food containing bones.)

But, KFC serves Pepsi products.  A Diet Coke would not satisfy.
I put the chicken bones out of my mind.

Up to the drive thru we went.

Me: "One large DP please."
Evil DP Pusher: "Would you like to upsize to mega for 39 cents more?"
Me:  (Thinking... if I am going to give in, 
I might as well REALLY give in.)
"Sure."

I drive up to the window.
Evil DP pusher hands me A HALF GALLON of poison.

A HALF GALLON.

Surely she was trying to kill me,
and I liked it.
But the HALF GALLON of poison did not fit in the cupholder.
Because humans are not meant to consume HALF GALLONS of fountain drinks. 
 
EVER. EVER. EVER.

How many minutes was I driving before the whole thing fell over?
Spilled on my seat, my floor, my phone, 
my cd case, my Photoshop folder, my purse?

One minute.

How many sips did I get before it spilled?

ZERO.

I really hate you Diet Pepsi.
But I love you so much too.

That is all.


47 Comments

  1. this truly made me chuckle out loud. i have a similar love for dt coke. i had done so good...6 weeks good but then i had to have it. then my so sweet lovely boy says "mommy why did you cheat?!" so now i sit here w/ another one...actually this is dt pepsi b/c i asked my neighbor if she had any. complete desperation! i just love the carbonated taste ~ yummy!

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  2. So funny! I'm a diet coke-aholic...but I don't even fight it!

    What is that gorgeous fabric, btw?

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  3. I can SO relate. Thanks for the giggle!

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  4. Must have been a sign.

    What on earth is that amazing fabric? I need it.

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  5. OMG... What a MESS... Could you at least lick things clean?? ;)

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  6. This made my fiance and I laugh SO hard! Thank you! :)

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  7. You and me both, Julie!!! This is a constant addiction for me as well- not a good thing!!! I gave it up for ALL of last week, only to suck down three on Saturday haha!! UGH- so addictive! :) xoxoxo

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  8. ohhh! the agony! it sounds like me and diet coke, especially the route 44 diet cokes from sonic. at least they are smart (or evil) enough to make the bottom the right size to fit in the cup holder.

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  9. Oh my is that the cutest pic or what. My poisen is Diet Dr. Pepper and I always loose, Diet DP is the winner forever! I want one now thank you for reminding me, oh wait we only have Diet Coke thats just gross!

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  10. You soo make me laugh out loud! We've all bee there with our own "DP" variation :)

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  11. I just have two things to say:
    -First, she could not POSSIBLY get any cuter! She's a doll!

    -Secondly, I cannot possibly relate to what you wrote, whatsoever. Not one bit. I am in no way addicted to Diet Pepsi. (But I reserve the right not to talk about any Diet Coke addictions I might have and how many I may or may not drink a day. Thank you.)

    ~Keri

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  12. LOOK at her!! What a doll face!! LOVE that fabric she is laying on...wink, wink!!

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  13. not sure how I got to your blog (a link somewhere crafty I am sure)

    but this made me laugh. oh I have these days. Thankfully no addiction to soda. Well, no admitted one anyway.

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  14. I have SO been there, Julie, By the way, you crack me up like NOBODY else!! Love you! My problem is Mountain Dew. Oh. my. goodness. Can't stop myself (but I try). Lori

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  15. I think this has to be my #1 favorite blog post EVER! ;)

    I like a few others love Dr. Pepper, but the one that sucks me in is Ruby Red Squirt.

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  16. you have got to be one of my most fun blogs i have read. Period!! I'm following you now, because you rock!

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  17. I'm utterly in LOVE with my Rt. 44 Diet Vanilla Cokes from Sonic, they are my poison.
    Bones, yes I hear ya...I don't eat meat if it's on a bone either. DANG it just gross.
    So so sorry about your Diet Pepsi falling and spilling everywhere...terrible mishap for sure.

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  18. I feel your pain sista...I feel your pain...

    xoxo

    Tonya

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  19. That's what you get for drinking and driving :). It's midnight here in CT and you made me laugh so hard!

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  20. DP's have one little tiny drop of heroin in them, just enough to get you hooked. Good thing you didn't drink the 1/2 gallon.

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  21. tee hee, super cute pic! (I am new to your blog, but I am so digging it)

    I gave up my favorite poisons, like diet coke, equal, aspartame, all of it, about 7 months ago. (I read some crazy reports and got scurred straight!)

    I feel your pain!

    Yoli

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  22. too funny- wow, i didn't even know they made cups that size!! where are you supposed to put them?!!
    i LOVE dp! so much that i have never tried any other diet soda...until today. i was in an establishment that only had diet coke so i thought i would give it a try.
    not even close. i couldn't even bring myself to finish it.
    thanks for the laugh!

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  23. Ouch! I didn’t think it was going to spill when you started this story…that really stinks! I’m a Pepsi lover my-self, regular Pepsi for me please. But it has been a month since I’ve had one and before that, several months. Buy a SIGG- http://www.mysigg.com/ and get it in a really cool color/pattern and then tell yourself that you’re going to only allow water in it and that it is refreshing and healthier, somehow it has worked for me, but then again we don’t eat out much anymore, so that has probably helped too. I just might have to blog about my lovely Purple SIGG this Thursday! Hope you have an awesome day!

    Oh and Janey looks absolutely adorable!!!

    Heidi Jo the Artist
    http://swirlsofcreativity.etsy.com

    Check it out! Purple Thursday, Every Thursday!
    http://swirlsofcreativity.blogspot.com
    http://greenresolution.blogspot.com

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  24. I have that type of love hate with my diet Mt. Dew!
    sandy toe

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  25. hilarious. It's almost as big as your sweet baby!!

    I just "Stumbled Upon" your great blog...and I love it!

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  26. i am so sorry you didn't get a sip!! i can so see that happening. not funny then, but a little right now. LOVE the picture of miss priss next to the cup .... that in itself is a hoot!!!! FRAME IT!!!! :)

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  27. I feel the same way about Diet Coke but I just give in and dont' fight the battle.

    Oh, and the thought of chicken bones makes me sick. LOL Thought I was the only one. My kids laugh at me.

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  28. This really made me laugh - shared it with the girls at work.

    I so understand! I quit drinking Coke when I found out I was pregnant and through the entire pregancy and afterwards for about six months. You would think that I could give it up again - no such luck. I keep trying each day. Maybe someday I will have the will power.

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  29. I hate when that happens!

    One time I was on my way to teach and I stopped and got a smoothie at the coffee shop on the way. It was a really windy day and I set it on the hood of the car while I got the kiddo buckled in, and it was blown off my hood and splattered all over!
    Sad day.
    I feel your pain.

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  30. Oh not that's awful! I can't believe how HUGE that thing is! :)

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  31. Too funny! and that IS the BIGGEST cup I have ever seen!!! Oh My!- I have the same problem...with dark chocolate M&Ms...

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  32. that is such a bummer. and cleaning it up is just a bummer.
    have a great day :O)
    OOHHHHH, and THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU for my sweet little box of goodies.
    my kids wore them from the minute they seen them until it was bath time :O)
    mine is pinned on my jean, favorite, gap jacket!

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  33. I feel for you. My "poison" of choice is Diet Dr. Pepper.

    God is so not funny sometimes, right?

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  34. first, THANK YOU.., i totally have problems with food that has bones in it. all food must be removed from bones, and i must never see the bones on my plate, ick! (my family thinks i am weird).

    second, pepsi is so yummy. BUT i found something that satisfies my pepsi craving, good earth's sweet and spicy tea (which is decaf). 6 bags in a sun tea container, absorbing a bit of heat, poured over a glass of ice.. delicious! (doesn't even need sugar..really!).

    dare you to try it!

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  35. That made me laugh out loud! Oh, the wonderful things I have spilled on myself before being able to actually eat them ....

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  36. My goodness that little girl of yours is PRECIOUS! That smile!

    I've got major issues with coke. Huge. So I feel your pain...

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  37. I love this!!! I am entirely addicted to Diet Coke and was actually JUST thinking about walking to 7Eleven before I clicked on your blog. Thanks for giving me a good laugh :) Love your blog!

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  38. I just peed in my pants laughing at this!!! WOW! I have been there and want you to know you are not alone in the struggle against Diet soda. I prefer Diet COKE. But, just the same, they are POISON! CUTE pic of Janey by they way :) Love it!

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  39. I guess it's no surprise that Janey is cute and gorgeous! I love that it looks like her little foot is ready to give your big cup the boot! ha!

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  40. I have the same relationship with the evil iceblended. evil.evil.evil.

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  41. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  42. Hi there! I found your blog a few weeks ago and am addicted, I love your funny posts and Very creative ideas. I am attempting the fabric bucket for my Mom for Mother's Day. The 2nd time I visited I clicked the link to Joy's Story. Such a heart-wrenching, terrible thing to endure, but Your love for God and your strength from God was evident throughout the whole story. Thanks for your willingness to share that. Knowing you a little more, struggles and all, has made reading your blog all the more wonderful. That little one posing with the pepsi is too cute!!! :-) God Bless you and yours!

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  43. When Sonic here opened it was a sad, sad day in my Coca-cola addiction (in my defense, they have really great ice). I had a completely rational thought yesterday "Maybe I should switch to Diet Coke..." Because, you know, that's so much better for me.

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  44. If you are like me, first reaction is "OH NOOOOOO!!!!!" then "This will make a GREAT blog post!" LOL. This really was funny.
    I rarely comment on anyone's blog, and find it hard to read many blogs anymore, but when I do, I really cherish catching up on what you have written. You are such an inspiration! Just wanted to FINALLY comment and tell you so!
    Jen :-)

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  45. One of my favorite posts yet! Love the picture& know hte feeling! My vice of coice is Caffiene Free Diet Coke - Living onthe edge, I know! My kids thinkit is mommy medicine - maybe it is?!?

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  46. Oh too funny! The sizes of fast food sodas drive me crazy. McDonalds is the only one that has a small that is still relatively small. Everyone else seems to have their own language as to what small is.

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