It's a daily struggle.
Me vs. Diet Pepsi.
Most days I win.
Some days I fail.
Others I fail miserably.
Let me tell you about one such day.
Little Miss Charming knows nothing of this ginormous vat of poison.
She is simply a prop to show its hideous size.
It goes like this:
I had gone perhaps two, maybe three weeks without my beloved/ hated DP.
It was really hot outside.
The day wasn't going well.
It called out for me on the way to pick up Halley from school.
The only fast food along my route was KFC.
Mind you, I have never been to KFC
(because I have major problems with food containing bones.)
But, KFC serves Pepsi products. A Diet Coke would not satisfy.
I put the chicken bones out of my mind.
Up to the drive thru we went.
Me: "One large DP please."
Evil DP Pusher: "Would you like to upsize to mega for 39 cents more?"
Me: (Thinking... if I am going to give in,
I might as well REALLY give in.)
I drive up to the window.
Evil DP pusher hands me A HALF GALLON of poison.
A HALF GALLON.
Surely she was trying to kill me,
and I liked it.
But the HALF GALLON of poison did not fit in the cupholder.
Because humans are not meant to consume HALF GALLONS of fountain drinks.
EVER. EVER. EVER.
How many minutes was I driving before the whole thing fell over?
Spilled on my seat, my floor, my phone,
my cd case, my Photoshop folder, my purse?
How many sips did I get before it spilled?
I really hate you Diet Pepsi.
But I love you so much too.
That is all.